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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels overwhelmed and ashamed about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from those around him. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms online – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he questions he would have taken the label unless he had already reached that conclusion by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they experience beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been called narcissists for decades, definitions vary what the term implies the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, adding the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is significant negative perception linked to the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

Though three-quarters of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings points out this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she says, “because if I hear that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I completely shut down.” Even with this response – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her loved ones, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her partner “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures as a child. “I’ve been learning continuously what is suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were belittling me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, struggles with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his doctor, John was referred to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: “They said it is expected around in a few months.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the condition. But the presence of online advocates and the development of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number